Archive for December, 2013


Sunday, December 29th, 2013

I started to write that this year was one of big change what with the new job and all that that entails (completely different job, entirely different people, super long commute). But looking back on it, it seems like every year or two has had a big change: moving to the Bay Area, starting a blog, writing iPhone apps, having a kid, etc.

One thing that I have noticed, though, is how quickly we become accustomed to change. This applies to both the good and the bad. A decade ago, my wife was diagnosed with a serious heart condition, which has significant implications for the rest of our lives. At the time, I wondered how we would ever adjust to it. But we did.

And this is how I know I’ll eventually get accustomed to commuting for 4-5 hours a day. If nothing else, it’ll give me a chance to practice my French.

Happy Holidays!

Monday, December 23rd, 2013

Every year, I think we should do a nice Christmas card or something. Everybody else with kids somehow manage to do it. I have no idea how, though. For one thing, it’s rare when we’re all awake together. And when we are, someone is often bawling in tears. Usually, it’s the kid.

But this year, I came up with the brilliant idea of making a video of singing a Christmas carol with the boy. There were a few minor details that I did not count on:

  • Dyson does not know these songs very well.
  • Neither do I.
  • He is more interested in taking funny pictures with the computer than he is in singing.

Yes, He’s My Son

Sunday, December 15th, 2013

MeAndDysonRockBandI recently saw a great article by a woman who found herself constantly asked, “Is that your baby?” As another parent of a biracial kid, it’s also something I’ve heard a lot. And I felt a lot of the same frustrations that she did. But one thing that’s different is that there’s no underlying connotation that I might be the nanny, since nannies don’t tend to be male.

It got me thinking about context, though. The same thing can be said to two different people, but it might have a much different impact based on their past experiences. I recently saw an article about the stigma about dating asian men (especially if they’re short) that really hit home because I certainly have a lot of insecurities related to that.

I wondered, though, how much of it is just based on how I interpret things? I try to judge each interaction on its own merits but I’ve got to say, it’s hard to ignore a lifetime of patterns.

On Being Male

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

The other day, someone came up to me and said, “You look like a girl.” I considered taking the opportunity to launch into a lecture on the speaker’s gender-normative assumptions but it seemed a bit excessive considering that she was a ten year-old girl. So I just said, “Some boys have pink hair.” And she replied, “It’s not just the hair.” Ah, youth…

Still, it got me thinking. I’ve heard similar comments often enough and mostly, I think it’s funny. But I’ve related those comments to other people and some think it’s insulting. To me, it only seems insulting if you think that women are somehow inferior to men. Although, I’m sure a lot of women would also feel insulted if they were mistaken for a woman. So maybe there’s more to it than that.

In any case, there are definitely expectations on what it is to be male or female. And sometimes, I wish I fit that a little bit better. But mostly, I think it’s funny.