Recently, I had an opportunity to take a few weeks off work. I was planning on working on some silly videos and iPhone projects while I was off but in the end, I hardly did any of that. Instead, I spent most of my time just hanging out with Dyson.

A couple things came up (Dyson needed surgery and Tracy had some medical issues, among other things) and suddenly, I had to take on more of the care taking duties. But culturally, there’s a lot of societal pressure for fathers to be the providers and producers. If we’re not doing that, we’re failing. I feel that acutely since I’m the sole breadwinner in the family. Even on vacation, I felt driven to be productive. So it was hard to just … not.

But over the course of those few weeks, I came to see it differently. Taking Dyson to the park or putting him to bed wasn’t going to help “bring home the bacon”. But maybe it provided for him in more important ways. I think it was good for him to know that he could count on me to be there when he needs it. Also, he isn’t going to be 3 forever. Heck, he isn’t even going to be a little kid for much longer. I want to cherish this time with him while I still can.

So during this vacation, I made the conscious choice not to work on some projects I really wanted to do. Instead, I spent the time with Dyson and gave my wife a much needed break. And over those few weeks, I started to see it make a difference. He would accept me to comfort him when he was upset and he would turn to me when he needed something.

So. I didn’t make any new apps this time around. And I didn’t make a bunch of new videos. But hopefully, I did have a lasting impact on my son’s life just by spending so much of these last few weeks with him. (Also, I am planning on doing at least one video from this time, where Dyson counts to 1000 … sort of.)

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013 at 12:12 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.