Breakup After Sex

Dear Mach,

Why do guys wait until after having sex to break up with women?

Perplexed in Preoria

Dear Perplexed,

I write iPhone apps, people! Okay, I also do visual effects work in the computer graphics industry. But what the heck do I know about relationships?! I’ve only ever had one girlfriend and then we got married. So breakups are not something I have much experience with.

But since you asked … I dunno. Guys like sex and it seems like they’re a lot more likely to get it before breaking up than afterwards, amirightoramiright? Haha… Seriously, though, I think it has something to do with intimacy issues. Guys aren’t really good about opening up and talking about their true feelings. So perhaps physical intimacy leads guys to confront the issues in their relationships that they were theretofore suppressing, thence leading to the breakups.

My advice? If you’re in a relationship with a guy and you think there are problems, train him to suppress his emotions by pretending to fall asleep and snoring loudly after sex. “But Mach, what if he says to me, ‘Honey, we need to talk about our relationship’?” No. This is not a thing you have to worry about. No guy will ever say this.


Have an iPhone question? Feel free to email me and I might answer in a column like this! Heck, I’ll probably answer non-iPhone related questions, too.

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