Dating Advice

Dear Mach,

There’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for a couple years but now I’m starting to have feelings for him. What should I do?

TNK

Dear TNK,

You know, as a guy with extremely limited dating experience, I’m not sure that I’m the best person to ask this question of. But since you asked — if it were a guy in that situation, I’d want to hear something like, “Hey, I just wanted you to know I’m totally into you.” And bam! Problem solved.

What, too simple and straightforward? Well, I can suggest something more elaborate, but I have to warn you that my knowledge of dating is mostly fictional and primarily comes from John Hughes movies of the 80s. Try this: throw a birthday party but conveniently “forget” to invite everyone but the boy in question. And then (read this on my blog to see this in script format):

[scrippet]
INT. TNK’S ROOM — NIGHT

TNK and BOY are sitting alone in a dark room next to a sad birthday cake with SIXTEEN CANDLES.

BOY
I’m sorry that no else came to your birthday party.

TNK
That’s okay. I have a confession to make … it’s not really my birthday.

BOY
…

TNK
You totally hate me now, don’t you?

BOY
No, I could never hate you. I knew it wasn’t your birthday.

TNK
(surprised)
But how?

BOY
We’re Facebook friends and I know your birthday is in May.

TNK
But then wh–

BOY puts his finger to her lips and shushes her. Their eyes meet. They totally make out. Like, hard core.
[/scrippet]

And bam! Problem solved. No, no need to thank me. It’s reward enough to know that I’ve made it possible for you two crazy kids to finally get together.