Dating Advice
Dear Mach,
There’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for a couple years but now I’m starting to have feelings for him. What should I do?
TNK
Dear TNK,
You know, as a guy with extremely limited dating experience, I’m not sure that I’m the best person to ask this question of. But since you asked — if it were a guy in that situation, I’d want to hear something like, “Hey, I just wanted you to know I’m totally into you.” And bam! Problem solved.
What, too simple and straightforward? Well, I can suggest something more elaborate, but I have to warn you that my knowledge of dating is mostly fictional and primarily comes from John Hughes movies of the 80s. Try this: throw a birthday party but conveniently “forget” to invite everyone but the boy in question. And then (read this on my blog to see this in script format):
INT. TNK’S ROOM -- NIGHT
TNK and BOY are sitting alone in a dark room next to a sad birthday cake with SIXTEEN CANDLES.
BOY
I’m sorry that no else came to your birthday party.
TNK
That’s okay. I have a confession to make ... it’s not really my birthday.
BOY
...
TNK
You totally hate me now, don’t you?
BOY
No, I could never hate you. I knew it wasn’t your birthday.
TNK
(surprised)
But how?
BOY
We’re Facebook friends and I know your birthday is in May.
TNK
But then wh--
BOY puts his finger to her lips and shushes her. Their eyes meet. They totally make out. Like, hard core.
And bam! Problem solved. No, no need to thank me. It’s reward enough to know that I’ve made it possible for you two crazy kids to finally get together.
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:59 am
LMAO. Nice to know you devote your free time to helping out those in need Mach.
August 2nd, 2010 at 1:04 pm
I’m a giving kind of guy.